I have no desire to move about,
said the Tree,
I’m very attached to my roots.
*They keep cutting me off,
said the Whisker,
but that will never stop me.*
You may have had some hard knocks,
said the Pebble,
but I’ve been kicked around all my life.*
There’s nothing I like better,
said the Sun,
than throwing some light on the subject.*
You always think I’m greener elsewhere,
said the Grass,
Well, sometimes I am.
*That’s just your opinion,
said the Pterodactyl,
I think I’m gorgeous.
*I’m madly in love with a frog,
said the Goat,
but she has a crazy idea that it won’t work out.
*Before swallowing me whole,
said the Panacea,
see if your solution doesn’t need shaking up.
*To think of ending my days covered with catsup,
said the Bull,
makes me see red.
*A little bird told me,
said the Eagle,
and then I ate him.
*I admit it,
said the Rat,
I’m as much of a rat as the next fellow.
*Sometimes,
said the Telephone,
I can scarcely believe my ears.
*I may be infecting the whole body,
said the Head,
but they’ll never amputate me.
*I’m hungry,
said the Bulldozer,
I want a hill burger for lunch.
*There will be time,
said the Grandfather Clock,
for whatever there will be time for.
*Of course I’m infinite,
said the Grain of Sand,
but what’s the rest of the beach doing here?
*I need something to pick me up,
said the Sweet Pea,
I’m dying on the vine.
*I wish these damn angels would get their feet off my head,
said the Pin,
I’ve got work to do.
*Get out of here!
said the Mouth to the Foot,
And with that big shoe on too!
*We may look weird,
said the Platypus to his wife,
but we have each other.
*I don’t know what the left is doing,
said the Right Hand,
but it looks fascinating.
*There might be someone else inside you,
said the Mirror,
beside you.
*When things get too tight for me,
said the Snake,
I just slip into some skin more comfortable.
*There’s practically nothing,
said the Eraser,
that ever comes out perfectly.
*There are two sides to everything,
said the Coin,
John is a saint and John is a toilet.
*Going around in theological circles,
said the Dove,
God must get very dizzy.
*When I gave up trying to understand,
said the Camel’s Eye to the Needle,
then I began to get to the point.
*It’s quite easy to be enlightened,
said the Lamp,
once you get turned on.
*If you take one thing at a time,
said the Stepping Stone,
you can endure anything.*
Nothing is nicer than letting go,
said the Leaf,
when that’s the only thing to do.*
I can’t help playing around,
said the Wind,
I’m just naturally impulsive.
*What I am sometimes is never always clear,
said the Pond,
What I am always is never clear all the time.
*Watch me,
said the Night,
wallop the daylights out of Time.*
Never expect anything,
said the Tadpole,
and everything will surprise you.*
I love candlelight,
said the Moth,
It makes suicide more romantic.
*It makes a terrible mess,
said the Cup,
but I love running over.
*Anyway you look at it,
said the Camera,
this is the way it is.*
I have no meaning,
said the Film,
I just unreel myself.
*You can always count on me in a pinch,
said the Penis,
I’ve gotten out of many a tight spot.
*You can’t get around me easily,
said the Vicious Circle,
I’m one turning point after another.
*I may be a drip to you,
said the Faucet,
but wait until somebody turns me on.*
I don’t know where I’m heading,
said the Rolling Stone,
but it’s uphill all the way.
*Whenever you make your home,
said the Waterbug,
is the center of the world.
*I’d love a new outfit,
said the Attitude,
but I can’t get out of this old habit.*
Don’t worry,
said the Caterpillar,
we’ll all come out beautifully in the end.*
Isn’t it perverse?
said the Cradle to the Hearse,
Things are getting better and things are getting worse.*